Dale-Time

In my previous post I said that in its most basic form “Service” is something you do for someone else and Great Service is doing that something with heart and a smile on your face.

Typically I think most funeral homes give wonderful service. They care about the people and they do the standard stuff they have done for the last 75 years with compassion and empathy. But because so much of what they traditionally do is tied to the body and the box, many funeral homes are having a hard time seeing that the things they do that are not tied to the body and the box are services too. And those other services are just as important as the traditional services. Plus, with an increase in cremation, no viewing and memorial services it’s those other services that are going to have to produce the income that we will all need to stay in business.

The services that are tied to the body and the box all have the “Spook Factor” attached to them and that typically has played to our advantage. “The Spook Factor” (my wife invented that term) is anything having to do with a dead body. The general public is scared of dead people. It gives them the creeps. It’s spooky. Horror movies are all about death and dead people. But we funeral folks are the small special breed that isn’t scared of dead people. So the general public calls on us to take care of the things that scare them. And since we’re already taking care of the dead body they figure they might as well use us for all the events that involve that body. And that’s where all of the traditional services that we provide came from.

We, funeral folks, have always provided those services involving the body with care, compassion and kindness. For the most part, we are not in this line of work to get rich (God knows that’s never going to happen to me) but we are in this line of work because we like to take care of people.  Deep down we know that there is a spiritual, religious, psychological and sociological purpose for what we do and why we do it. But I think, over the years, our focus on the body and the box have led many people in Funeral Service to believe that the value of a funeral is all centered around the body, it’s preparation, the viewing of it, the ceremony involving it and taking the body to it’s final destination.

Unfortunately that is a very self-serving belief. Attempts to “educate the public” in the belief of this value will ultimately fail because the public will (and does) see it as self-serving. Using the mere handful of funeral industry psychologists that support this belief as experts will not work either. If it were true that we, as human beings, absolutely needed to view a dead body and have a ceremony with that body present to have a healthy recovery from the emotional loss of that person, then the whole world would be filled with crazy people and every other day there would be a different expert on “Dr. Phil” and “Oprah” telling us view dead bodies. I do believe that there is value in viewing a body for some people. And that there is value in ceremony for most people. But the value of a funeral does not require a body, or a box or even an official ceremony.

What I have come to believe is this:

The true value of a funeral is the Gathering Together of People to share Stories of love, memories, respect, and honor. We, as human beings, need that contact and the emotional connection. We gather together at happy times and sad times. We gather at births, graduations, weddings, anniversaries, retirements and deaths. We gather to worship, to praise, to celebrate and to mourn. And at every one of those gatherings…. we tell stories. It is through those stories that we share our love, knowledge, memories, respect and honor for one another.

It’s our job as funeral directors to make that Gathering easy, comfortable, meaningful and memorable for all who attend. It’s our job to help people tell their stories and help people hear the stories of others. Each gathering can be as unique or traditional as desired. It can include a multitude of products, music, personal items and food. And yes, the Gathering can include the body and the box and a parade to the final resting place. The pieces and parts all add to the value of the whole. But at the core, the true value always comes back to the same two elements; The gathering of people and the telling of stories.

In My next post I’ll talk about the “Other Services” we now provide and how all of it relates to the core Value of Funerals.

I’m Dale Clock. Thanks for listening.

There are many articles I read about the funeral business that talk about service. “You gotta give ‘em great service”; “Our staff gives the best service” “it’s all about service” Yet as Alan Creedy said in comments on his blog, when he asks a funeral director to describe what it is about their service that sets them apart from the other guy, usually the funeral director is at a loss for words.

So what is service??   I think of it like this:

Service…. is something….. that you do…… for someone else.

Great Service…. is when you do that something….with a smile on your face and warmth in your heart.

It’s really that simple. It doesn’t matter if you’re picking up garbage, delivering flowers or embalming a body. The same principles apply. Great Service comes from the heart.

The challenge with funeral service today is that so much of what we traditionally did for people was tied to the Body and the Box. Embalming, dressing, cosmetics, casketing, explaining, providing and selling the casket and vault, moving and placing the casket and body, transportation of the casket, equipment to hold the casket, a building designed to easily accommodate the casket and body and more. Now with the increase of cremation, decrease in visitations and viewing, decrease in processions and an increase in DIY memorial services… the services that we have been trained to provide are no longer desired.

So what service is it that we are supposed to provide for people?  What is it that people truly value about what we do?

I just read a couple books that Alan Creedy suggested. “Marketing Metaphoria” and “How Customers Think” both by Gerald Zaltman. They were very thought provoking and I highly recommend both of them. Some of the things I learned from them were that most decisions/choices are made on an emotional level, not logical or analytical. And that it’s a deep unconscious thought/feeling that holds those emotions. The Zaltman’s have developed an interview system that can discover the deep metaphors that harbor those emotions that can give us insight into what people value and why they buy what they buy. I completely agree with Alan that it would be great to have the Zaltmans do some work for the funeral industry to help all of us understand what people really think/feel/value about funerals. The customer surveys and market studies that I have done really haven’t told me much in this area. The future success of my business lies in understanding what today’s customer’s emotional needs are and then making sure that my services and products meet those needs.

In my next post I’ll talk about what I think some of the values of the funeral are.

FYI – I bought the Kindle edition of Marketing Metaphoria online from Amazon. Then I downloaded the free “Kindle for PC” software on my Laptop, Work and Home computers. I don’t own a Kindle (yet) but my wife does and it’s a great little piece of hardware. With the Kindle for PC I was able to read the book where ever I was. You can adjust the look and font size which is great because the computer screen is sometimes in-between my regular and cheater lenses of my bifocal glasses. It also keeps your place, so where ever you open the book up next it knows where you left off.

I’m Dale Clock.  Thanks for listening.

Funerals sometimes bring out the best in people and sometimes they don’t. And sometimes I just shake my head in disbelief at what goes on around here.

Blended families can be the hardest. Step children, 2^nd wives, ex-wives, birth-children that left town long ago, girlfriends, boyfriends, significant others, grandkids, siblings and on and on. The public would be surprised at how often we funeral homes have challenges with families. One side says the other side is crazy and we better not let Aunt Susie in or she’ll cause a big ruckus. Then we meet Aunt Susie and she’s a dear. I have had countless families sit in the arrangement conference and say, “our family must be the worst family you’ve ever seen”. I assure them they are far more normal than they would ever believe.

But there are times when I feel like I should wear a black & white striped referee shirt and carry a whistle. Give it a couple toots and send everybody to neutral corners. A while back we had a doozy. The birthkids called the step-kids (or it could have been vice versa) and told them that Dad would have wanted everybody to dress casual for the service and to wear jeans. Then the birthkids did the opposite and dressed up in dresses and coats and ties just to tick off the other side. What do they hope to gain out of that?? Sheese, I don’t know?

I’m Dale Clock. Thanks for Listening

In the past few weeks we have had challenges with price shoppers and price squeezers (people who want you to do it for less). I understand that some people are always going to try and get the best deal. And that it’s their normal mode of operation to ask “is that the best price you can do?” I am frustrated at times that they don’t seem to have a clue that I really need every dollar we ask for to keep the lights on and pay the staff. Well, that thought led me to this conclusion.

The health care system, health insurance, Medicaid, Hospice…… causes some people to think that there should be no cost (to them) for taking care of someone’s body, living or dead.

Let’s look at a typical situation cover the last stages of a life.

Susie is in a nursing home, her family has spent down her assets and Medicaid and Social Security is paying for her care and has been for 2 years. The family pays little or no out of pocket expenses. Susie falls, breaks a hip, goes to the emergency room, has surgery, goes to rehab, and recovers for a short period of time. Again the family pays nothing for all of this care and service and facilities. Susie takes a turn for the worse and the family moves her into a Hospice house where she spends the last week of her life. The staff there takes loving care of her 24 hours a day. The family is counseled by social workers and compassionate staff. The family is there using the facility 18 hours a day and more. Again, they pay nothing out of pocket for any of this. In fact they have never even seen any type a bill or statement that would give them any clue of what the facility and staff is actually being paid for their service. In the family’s mind these are just wonderful people taking care of their mother, and it never crosses their mind that these people are actually being monetarily compensated for their time and efforts.

Susie dies. The funeral home comes and takes the same wonderful care of Susie’s body that the nurses, social workers, doctors and multiple other people have done for the last month. We prepare her, bath her, clothe her, provide a new temporary home, plan a wonderful celebration of her life, coordinate everything that goes on with that, provide facilities and staff and even prepare a great meal and reception. Then we show the family a bill for our services and they are shocked. It’s the first time anyone has shown them a bill for the care of their mother. “Everything has been free up to this point, and now we have to pay?”

Listen, I am guilty of the same thing. The drugs I take only cost $10 (that’s my co-pay) and a doctor visit only costs $20. At least it seems that way, because it’s my bookkeeper that sends in the $7500 a month that it costs for the health insurance to cover my family and my staff. Yes, I look at the books daily, but it’s not coming out of my personal checkbook so it’s easy to think that “someone else” is paying for it. Even though that someone else is me, since I own the company.

How do we change this??  I don’t know?? Maybe the government ought to pay for funerals??

I just wish every once and awhile someone would say “ya know, you funeral folks are worth every penny we paid you, thanks for being there when we needed you.”

I’m Dale Clock.  Thanks for listening.

I like being a handyman. Put tools in my hands and give me a project and I am as happy as a pig in mud. There is a start and a finish point and when I’m all done I can stand back and admire what I’ve done. And make gorilla noises like Tim the Toolman. I think it’s a male thing.

The problem with being like this is that often I have a hard time asking/telling/delegating other people to do projects that need to be done. And as the boss, that’s not a good trait. Because I like to do “projects” it just seems easier to Do It Myself, rather than take the time to tell somebody what I want done and then check it over when they are done, only to have to fix something that they didn’t do the way I would have liked them to do it.

Yes, I know that the only way they will learn is to let them do it themselves. And part of my job is to be the teacher/mentor. Some days I do have the patience to guide them along. And other days I don’t.

But what frustrates me sometimes is my employees inability to see the obvious house keeping things that need to be done and just do it without being told.

There’s a coffee stain in the carpet – just get the spot cleaner and take care of it. There’s a huge dandelion growing by the front door – just get the magic weedpuller tool in the garage and make it go away.  The empty boxes are piling up in the store room – just take them out to the dumpster. The air freshener gizmo is beeping – just go change the can. Sheese, it’s not that hard.

Sometimes it’s not in your job description, but cripe almighty, this is a small family business and we all need to pitch in. Yes, I know sometimes it is somebody else’s job and I (the boss) should tell them to do their job better. But instead of tattling to me that Susie didn’t get all the cobwebs or Fred didn’t fill out the form completely, just fix the problem first and we can deal with training issues at an appropriate time.

I’m Dale Clock. Thanks for listening.