Funerals sometimes bring out the best in people and sometimes they don’t. And sometimes I just shake my head in disbelief at what goes on around here.
Blended families can be the hardest. Step children, 2nd wives, ex-wives, birth-children that left town long ago, girlfriends, boyfriends, significant others, grandkids, siblings and on and on. The public would be surprised at how often we funeral homes have challenges with families. One side says the other side is crazy and we better not let Aunt Susie in or she’ll cause a big ruckus. Then we meet Aunt Susie and she’s a dear. I have had countless families sit in the arrangement conference and say, “our family must be the worst family you’ve ever seen”. I assure them they are far more normal than they would ever believe.
But there are times when I feel like I should wear a black & white striped referee shirt and carry a whistle. Give it a couple toots and send everybody to neutral corners. A while back we had a doozy. The birthkids called the step-kids (or it could have been vice versa) and told them that Dad would have wanted everybody to dress casual for the service and to wear jeans. Then the birthkids did the opposite and dressed up in dresses and coats and ties just to tick off the other side. What do they hope to gain out of that?? Sheese, I don’t know?
I’m Dale Clock. Thanks for Listening
Dale-Time 
Dale, I guess we can blame everything on the economy but I hear this more and more as I visit with families.
An excellent book for you and your staff to study on this matter is entitled “Crucial Conversations” by Patterson et al. published by McGraw Hill.
It details how to be the referee in “high risk” conversations and is an excellent tool for parents raising teenagers and funeral directors.
Alan,
Thanks for the advice and reminding me about the book. I gave my whole staff copies of “Crucial Conversations” several years ago. I listen to portions of the book at least once a year while I’m driving. It helps me center myself when I need to have one of those conversations.