Dale-Time

Last November we had some major water damage at the Clock Funeral Home facility in Fruitport, Michigan. It is a small facility (2500 sq ft with no basement) that we only have staff at when we are meeting with families or having visitations and funerals. We check on it regularly but it is not uncommon for there to be 5 day stretches that no one is in the facility. It seems that the furnace starter failed and the building was without heat for a while. It was also a matter of fate that we had an unusual early cold snap during that period. When we discovered the problem with the furnace we had it fixed, turned the heat up and left the building. 

Three days later our parking lot snowplow guy was clearing the snow and called us to say there was water running out from under the door. Not the kind of news you want to hear. What had happened was that the water pipes that run through the ceiling had frozen and cracked during the cold snap when the furnace wasn’t working. And when we turned the furnace back on it thawed out the pipes and the water started spraying water in the attic space above the ceiling. It eventually soaked the drywall and tiles and the ceiling came crashing down on the furniture. The water then continued to run for 3 days before it was discovered. Here are some pictures.

This brought to us a major dilemma. This branch was small and didn’t have good bathroom facilities. The layout wasn’t good for larger crowds and we had shifted all of our body preparation to our main facility in Muskegon over 15 years ago. The business volume in Fruitport had been slowly declining for a few years and we wondered if it was worth it to repair the place at all or just close the facility down.

After a few weeks of thought and contemplation we decided to take a gamble and try something completely new and different. We decided to completely gut the building and turn it into an Event Center for all of life’s events. We are calling our new business “Sunset Celebrations”. Click here for the website. http://sunsetcelebrationcenter.com/

We will still be able to hold funerals, visitations and memorial services just like before. But now the facility has an open floor plan, with a sound system, TV’s on the walls and a small serving kitchen so we can hold any type of event that folk’s desire; wedding receptions, birthday and anniversary parties, graduation open houses, business meetings and baby showers. We are working with area caterers to provided food for events. The facility can comfortably handle crowds of up to 125 people depending on the layout.

Under Construction

We are finally ready to reopen the place. Which is good because we have our first wedding reception there this weekend. And the road in front of the building which has been completely torn up for the last 4 months for a new sewer project will be open too. I’ll post photos soon.

I’m Dale Clock. Thanks for listening.

Almost everyone in funeral service is searching for a simple answer to the main challenge that faces most of us.

“As the cremation rate continues to rise and our income continues fall because people are choosing less of the services and products that we typically provided, what should we do to remain profitable?”

And from that question come many more. Why are people choosing cremation more? Why are people choosing simple cremation providers instead of traditional funeral homes? What types of services and products do people really want? What can we do to be relevant in people’s minds? How are people getting the information they use to make decisions? Etc. etc. etc.

We are all in search of the “Secret Sauce”. The one magic thing that when we do it, or buy it, or install it, that “Secret Sauce” will solve all of our problems and transform us back into a business where things were normal and regular. A business where we knew what people wanted, we gave it to them, they paid us and we all made money (by accident) and everyone was happy.

Well I’m going to tell you right now that I don’t have the recipe to the “Secret Sauce”. So you can stop reading this article if that’s what you were hoping for. Life isn’t that simple. It never was. I’m writing this to let you know that you’re not alone out there in your search.

I was originally going to tell you about some of the things that I have tried over the last 25 years. What kinda worked and what didn’t. So I started listing everything I tried. The list kept growing until I reached over 60 different things. Some of the things we tried we are still doing. Many things came and went. If I showed you the list you’d get bored halfway through it.

I wish there was an easy answer, but there isn’t. I’m guessing it’s a combination of many ingredients. And the ingredients will be different for different size firms in different parts of the country. It’s no longer a one size fits all. I’ve attended numerous classes and seminars and I’ve heard some great ideas. But not all the ideas seem to fit with my philosophy. Not that they are bad ideas, just not a fit for me.

The biggest challenge that I see for most firms is to get the whole staff united in one direction. For 10 years I have been trying to move my folks where I think we need to go. Some folks have followed, some folks have left, some folks have died, some have retired and some wish I’d stop trying new things and just go back to doing things the way we used to.

If I was the charismatic leader that we read about in business books I would make wonderful speeches and lead my supportive troops into battle. But I’m not that kind of guy. Like many funeral directors, I am a pleasing accommodator that tries to avoid conflict. I can try to change some but, at 57 years old, I don’t see myself becoming a Lee Iacocca any time soon.

So I’ll keep refining and honing my message to my troops and to the public.

I still believe that the true vale of a funeral is the gathering together of people and the sharing of stories. It’s my job to help people gather together and help them share their stories and hear the stories of love and support from their friends and family. Everything we do at the funeral home has to focus on those two activities. And if they do, we will continue to serve the people for years to come.

I’m Dale Clock. Thanks for listening.

There is a wonderful song from the musical, Mary Poppins, which I’m guessing most of you could sing along with.

“Just a spoonful of sugar helps the medicine go down. In the most delightful way”.

Wiktionary defines the phrase like this “Proverb – An otherwise unpleasant situation can be pleasant when a pleasant aspect is deliberately introduced.

I like to think of it like this – If you put a positive spin on the difficult things we have to do in life and a positive spin on the things we know are good for us, like take our medicine. With that positive attitude you can accomplish those things much easier. And in the end you’ll be happier and all the better for it.

So what has this got to do with funeral service? Well, I think that funeral service needs to put a little sugar with the medicine they want the public to take.

Funeral service keeps preaching that to really recover from the loss of a loved one you need to have a service, preferably with a body present. Time and time again in trade publication articles and books endorsed by all the state and national funeral associations we hear the same story. All the funeral service endorsed doctors of sociology and psychology say that a traditional service is the correct “medicine” to cure people of the disease of grief and mourning.

We have been told to go out and “educate the public” on the need for this medicine. We have been advised to ask the hard, probing and thought provoking questions in arrangement conferences about what will happen if the family doesn’t provide the “medicine” (service) for friends and relatives.We have been encouraged to use guilt as a motivator to convince people that they need to take/provide the “medicine” for everyone involved or else they will fail to heal properly.

But this all reminds me of some old black & white movie of a tough old nurse forcing a spoonful of castor oil down a kid’s throat. “Take this. It’s good for you”.

Wouldn’t it be better if we put a little sugar with that medicine? Wouldn’t it be better if we promoted funeral service from the more pleasant aspects of what happens during funerals and visitations?  So what’s pleasant about funerals, you may ask? It’s pretty easy. We as, human beings, do it nearly everyday in dozens of different places.

Gathering together with people and sharing stories.

That’s it. Two things. Gather together and share stories. Meet and Talk. Isn’t that what you do when you go out to dinner with friends? Isn’t that what you do at parties? Isn’t that what you do at Church, at Rotary, at the Friday night fish-fry, at the family reunion? And when we meet and talk, we smile and laugh and remember. And in the end we usually feel good about it. Right?

That’s exactly what happens at funerals and visitations. People gather together and share stories about their loved one. Happy stories, funny stories, sad stories, long forgotten stories, stories from the bible and family stories. We all know it’s a good visitation when the room is full of people and the noise level is up from all the talking. There is laughter and hugs along with the tears.  It is through those stories we share our love and respect for that person and for the family. It’s through those stories that we celebrate a life.

It is through those stories that the heart gets healed. The medicine that the people need is really in the stories that they hear and tell.

So I think that funeral service needs to focus on those two things; Gathering People Together and Sharing Stories. Funeral service needs to promote the fact that we are experts in helping people gather together and share stories. People like to gather together and share stories. It’s a pleasant thing to think about.

What’s a better marketing phrase to use “We make a hard time a little easier” or “Gather Together, Share the Stories, We help make it easier”?

Yes, we help with people who are mourning and travelling through grief. But by using a little sugar – “let’s gather together and share the stories” – we can help the medicine go down so they can heal their heart.

If we don’t get this right the public will continue to move away from funeral homes towards restaurants and clubs and backyards for their celebrations. The choice is ours to make.

I’m Dale Clock. Thanks for listening.

Thomas Lynch does not speak for me. And if all of funeral service continues to hold him as the all-knowing wizard of funeral-land he may just lead everyone down the yellow brick road to nonexistence. We can’t go backwards. The almighty public has spoken and we need to listen to them, not the man behind the casket.

At the NFDA 2013 Convention in Austin, TX last month, I attended a presentation by Thomas Lynch and Thomas Long. Lynch is a well-known funeral director and the author of the NY Times best seller book “The Undertaking”. Thomas G. Long is Bandy Professor of Preaching at Candler School of Theology, EmoryUniversity, and one of the most popular preachers in the United States today. They have co-written a book called “The Good Funeral” and this tag team presentation was basically a way to present their views and promote their book.

The room was filled with over 1000 funeral directors who listened intently, erupting into applause and laughter at various jokes and phrases delivered by the two experienced presenters. The two Toms knew how to get their audience of believers going just like a good preacher or politician does. Their talking points were well rehearsed and the “bro-mance” between the two of them was very evident. Their message was basically this; Funerals that are solemn and contemplative affairs with a body present and in a casket are “Good Funerals”. Anything else is nothing but fluff and a waste of time. Period. End of Story. No middle ground. No acknowledgement that the way the world communicates has changed. No compromise. Just a desire to have things the way they were in 1969.

They both spent the better part of an hour bashing anything that had to do with celebrating a life, uplifting stories about the deceased that focused accomplishments or good deeds, favorite music being played, tribute videos, personalization of any type, dove releases, photo collages, web sites, web casting of funerals, etc., etc., etc. According to them if it didn’t exist in 1969 (an arbitrary date that I picked) then it has no place in a “Good Funeral”. Well, maybe a new hearse is OK, but that’s about it.

I don’t want to make this a personal attack. Both Toms are amazingly talented, successful, intelligent men. They are well spoken, well written, articulate and entertaining. They make you think, they make you laugh. They are passionate about their beliefs. But they don’t speak for me. And the reality is that they don’t speak for the majority of funeral consumers in the United States. And I don’t think they should be speaking for all of funeral service either.

I believe: The true value of a funeral is the Gathering Together of People and the Sharing of Stories. Stories of love, memories, respect, and honor. We gather together because we, as human beings, need that contact and the emotional connection we get from being with one another. We gather together at happy times and sad times. We gather at births, graduations, weddings, anniversaries, retirements and deaths. We gather to worship, to praise, to celebrate and to mourn. And at every one of those gatherings…. we tell stories. It is through those stories that we heal and grow and love.

It’s our job as funeral directors to make that Gathering easy, comfortable, meaningful and memorable for all who attend. It’s our job to help people tell their stories and help people hear the stories from friends and relatives.

Gather Together…..Share the Stories…..Celebrate a Life…..Heal the Heart.

It is not our job to dictate how they gather or why they gather or where they gather. It is not our job to dictate what stories they tell or how they tell their stories. Do you tell Catholics they need to have funerals like the Baptists? Do you tell the African-Americans they need to have funerals like the Amish? NO!!! Then why does funeral service think they can tell the Karaoke Crowd, or the Pig Roast in the back-yard crowd, or the balloon release crowd that what they are doing is WRONG. And that is what Thomas Lynch is preaching. He says that all of this new stuff is WRONG.

Telling people they are wrong is not going to get you very far in business. Sure, funeral service will bring out their grief experts to say that viewing the body is a good thing and people who suffer from complicated grief didn’t view. They will use humorous clichés like “You can pay the shrink, you can pay the bartender, or you can pay the funeral director.” Or they will compare funeral directors to doctors that have to tell patients about cancer and the best course of treatment. But grief is not cancer and what about the 99% of people who didn’t choose the view the body and are doing just fine in their grief recovery. Where is the data on them? There isn’t any because there is no problem.

 The two Tom’s definition of a “Good Funeral” does exactly what I am saying. It gathers people together and they share stories. Maybe their gathering is somber and reflective. Maybe their stories come from the Bible. Maybe viewing the body is an important part of their story telling. I am honored to help them share their story in a way that fits their lifestyle, customs and beliefs.

 But if the family wants to gather in the back yard, with a karaoke machine and release balloons while singing Fred’s favorite song, they are not wrong. They are different from the two Toms. Yet, they are the same. Because they too, are gathering together and sharing stories which will help heal their heart.

 If I want to stay in business I am going to make sure I can provide the karaoke machine in addition to the church truck. I am going to make sure I can restore an old photograph with Photoshop just as well as I restore a 92 year old grandma’s body who spent the last two years in a nursing home. I am going to make sure my facility can be set up with chairs in neat rows one day and round tables with matching center pieces and wine bottles the next.

 My job is to help people Gather Together and Share the Stories. If I do that, they will heal on their own, in their own way, without me telling them what to do. 

What mortuary school students should be learning has been a topic at several of the funeral director meetings I have attended in the last few months. It has been a consensus that many of the students the folks have interviewed are less than desirable. Whether it’s appearance (visible tattoos are a big issue) or attitude about work schedule or a true misunderstanding of what funeral directors do. Finding good folks is just plain hard these days.

I have also found that I don’t think that a lot of funeral home owners really understand what skills their new hires are going to need in the next 5 years. When I went to mortuary school over 20 years ago it was basically to learn what I needed to pass the national boards. Yes, I memorized terms and diseases and body parts. I got some practical experience in embalming but I really honed my skills learning from other funeral directors I worked with. Only about half of what I learned at mortuary school applied to the actual job I did.

Now that I am in the position of hiring people, the skills that folks learn at mortuary school are just a small part of what they need to know in order for me to even consider hiring them. Technology, computers, writing and speaking skills are an absolute must. Whether you are fresh from mortuary school or an experienced funeral director the following skills are an absolute requirement.

1. A competent understanding of word-processing, spreadsheet and presentation software programs and how they work together. Preferably Microsoft office programs Word, Excel & PowerPoint. This means you better know how to create from scratch a memorial folder, place a photo in it, change the fonts and basically make the thing look good.
2. A total understanding of digital photos. How to upload, scan, send, download, transfer, copy, paste. And a basic understanding of how to clean up those photos using a Photoshop type program (healing brush, magnetic lasso tool, cloning tool to name a few). A real plus is the ability crop people out of photos smoothly and place them into a printed document. If you don’t know what a jpeg is I don’t even want to talk to you. This also means you should understand about dpi settings and different quality of photos.  Someone with good Photoshop talents is just as valuable to me as a good embalmer and restorative artist. Over 50% of the folks that call me don’t want to see the body. But everyone that calls me potentially has a photo that we can enlarge, touch up, add to a collage or video.
3. A complete understanding of iTunes and other music programs. How to create playlists, burn cd’s, rip mp3 files from existing cd’s, purchasing and downloading music off of the internet.
4. Basic video camera skills. And understanding of pan, zoom and focus. Plus an understanding of how to get the video into a computer so a movie file or dvd can be created.
5. The ability to create a slide show with music on a computer.
6. The ability to write complete sentences, paragraphs and stories. If you can’t write a good obit you are useless to me.
7. The willingness and ability to speak to a crowd, clearly and comfortably (yes this takes practice). Just practicing reading a story out loud to a small group of friends or employees will improve your skills at this. Then help each other deliver the story better than you did before. This practice will also improve your skills in the arrangement conference.

These skills are on top of the standard stuff that funeral directors need to know. I see them as skills that are absolutely necessary for our future. There are many talented, wonderful, experienced funeral directors out there today that I would not hire because they don’t have these skills. And it doesn’t take a school to learn these skills. They can all be learned by purchasing some small training program and learning them on your own. It’s amazing what you can learn by reading the help menu in a program or typing a question in YouTube. That’s how I learned.

If mortuary schools want to remain relevant they need to stop making students memorize chemistry they will never use and microbiology that doesn’t apply and teach them skills that will help them serve the 21^st century public.

I’m Dale Clock.  Thanks for Listening.