There are times when I get so frustrated working with other companies and municipalities. The employees have been given a set of rules and regulations by the higher ups. Sometimes they have been threatened with the loss of their job if they don’t follow the rules. Most times the employees have no idea why the rules were set in place, but, “by gosh, we gotta follow em, don’t ya know.”
As of late, it’s cemeteries, that I have had challenges with.
Example – A family buried a man’s ashes on his mother’s grave and they wanted to place a small (6” x 9”) bronze veteran’s marker on a grave that already had a granite one for the mother. Family called the township office, talked to “Susie” (not her real name) who handles all the cemetery stuff. Susie says “NO!! One marker per grave, that’s the rule.” Mind you, that I have been to this cemetery several hundred times in the past 10 years. I’ve never met or seen Susie, ever, at the cemetery, although I have talked to her hundreds of time on the phone.
Example 2 – We are at the graveside and the closed casket is on the lowering device. Family wants to place a ball cap in the casket before we lower it. Debbie, the cemetery person, says “No, can’t open the casket at the grave side, it’s against the rules” It’s a corporate owned cemetery. My director asks “Why?” She says “it’s against the rules” He asks again “Why?” She gets flustered and says “I’ll have to call my supervisor” After 15 minutes of bickering and phone calls the family is allowed to open the casket just enough to slip in the ballcap.
This is all nuts. What are these people thinking?
This is where I think every company and every government agency or department (and my own company too) needs a “Vice President of Common Sense”. They need someone to listen to a problem or situation and then apply common sense and “Do the Right Thing”. This isn’t hard. It’s not rocket science. C’mon people. Rules and regulations are necessary to give us a road to travel and keep us all going in the same direction. But when there is a rock in the way or a pothole you drive around it. We make adjustments.
My basic rule in all of this is just help the people do what they need to do and keep within the spirit of the rules. Eventually we by-passed Susie and went right to guy who maintains the cemetery and he gladly placed the small marker right next to the mothers and it looked just fine. And Susie will never know (she never goes to the cemetery). It’s the old saying that sometimes it’s better to do it and ask for forgiveness than ask for permission and get rejected.
So next time somebody gives some stupid excuse why they can’t do something, just tell them you’re going over their head and you want to speak to the Vice President of Common Sense.
I’m Dale Clock. Thanks for listening.
Dale-Time 
The problem is that common sense is not common. We create rules restricting the ways that people can remember and pay tribute to their ancestors…and then scratch our heads when they begin opting for “disposal”. Many cemeteries, like their funeral home brethren, can be characterized as: “One hundred and fifty years of tradition, unaffected by progress” Some day we will learn, but will it be too late?
I’m just a “Simple, Village Undertaker”.